My father

      My father was aloof and disconected most of my childhood..When I asked him to play a game, or do something together,he always declined..He would tell me instead that if he did something with me,he would have to do something with my two other brothers,and was not going to happen..
        I used to wonder why he even bothered adopting my older brother and myself..My younger brother was a happy surprise for them.Later on,as I got older,I realize that it was because of the social pressures of the times..Like having a TV,or white sidewall tires,you gotta have kids..Not that you want them,simply that you must have them..
        My father would have loved for life to have been just himself and my mother,and that was made crystal clear..Life with my father was mostly uneventful..He would drift in and out,with little interaction..Don't think for a minute that he wasn't a good provider..He was...A captain of the Seattle fire department,and well respected...
        My father died four years ago..Attending his funeral,I felt nothing..He had always been nice to me as a adult,I didn't dislike him..Kind of like a nice next door neighbor..
        Of course my mother was having one of her crazy spells..She told anyone that would listen that I was going to cause fistfights at my Dads funeral..Fistfight? Really? Who in attendance would I care enough about to punch out? There is no one,mother..no one at all..But,my younger brother actually asked me if I was going to fight at Dads funeral..I assured him that was not going to happen, and it didn't..
       I was up in Washington state a day before the funeral,and was invited over to my younger brothers house.Rather than sit in my hotel room,I went over and had the most amazing series of events happen to me..
        My sister-in-law had only met me once before.she hadn't a clue about who I was at all..My brother was still at work when I arrived at his house,so my sister-in -law invited me in to wait..I had offered to take them both out to diner that night...My sister-in -law was drunk when I got there,and proceeded to get bombed as the day wore on..
       I had come 1,200 miles to bury my father..No one knew how I felt,esp. my sister-in-law..She went on and on about how I must not beat anyone up at the funeral..Then,she switched gears and actually asked me to ask my brother if he would perform a specific sex act upon her..Yes,that happened..Finally,she said it was time to pick up my brother at his place of employment..She had me go with her..I asked to drive or take my car..NOOOOOO! she said..After searching for the ignition,off we weaved,down the road..It was when she almost crashed us into a power pole, that I demanded that I drive..She agreed,and off we went..When my brother asked why I was driving,then took a good look at her,he knew why..
       Of course,she was too drunk to go out to dinner at the nice seafood/steakhouse I was taking them to,so my brother and I went alone..I told him everything that she said..I told him that I was furious that she wanted me to give my brother sex instructions..It was a very uneasy dinner,nothing like I had planned..I drove him home, and went back to my hotel..
      Next day was the funeral..I drove to Sea-Tac airport,met Jim,and we drove up to the island for dad's funeral..My older brother arrived at the church where services were being held,along with his two sons,and third wife..We were all ushered into this room to wait until the funeral began...Myself,Jim, and my younger brother all heard my teenage nephew say to his dad,:"But they don't look like queers"..and my brother snapping back:"Well they are"....Maybe mother is psychic,as I sure felt like punching them both out..
           The minister said this of my father:" Bob was generous with the church,oh, not with money,but with his time"..How fitting slamming dad for not forking out big bucks to a pal of Jebus..I was furious..
           After the service,I was outside chatting with my cousins and up pops this guy,asking me if I knew who he was..I hadn't a clue..Turns out he was a neighbors kid,when we were growing up..He elected to remind me the time I had hid in their house,bleeding,from my sweet mother..That was so nice..Then he shared that his parents wanted to turn my mother in for child endangerment,but decided that it might affect my fathers career,and didn't..Yeah,let the kid get murdered,but don't do anything to dads career..
    Finally,we arrived back at my mothers house..One of her neighbors asked why all three of Bobs kids don't look anything like their parents..I was sorely tempted to say we resemble the milkman,but I let that opportunity fly by..
    I overheard my older brother saying to some people that he was born on flag day,so everyone flys a flag in his honor..I swear I was thinking it,but it slipped out..I said:" Yeah,they all fly flags alright..All at half-mast..Everyone was shocked,my brother was surprised..
     That was the weirdest funeral that I have attended..